1on1-prep

What this skill does

# 1:1 Preparation Skill

A framework for preparing and running effective 1:1 meetings that build trust, support growth, and surface issues early.

## Why 1:1s Matter

1:1s are the most important meeting a manager has. They are:
- **Their meeting, not yours** — The direct report sets the agenda
- **About them, not status** — Save project updates for standups
- **Relationship-building time** — Trust compounds over time
- **Early warning system** — Problems surface here first

## 1:1 Principles

### 1. Consistency Over Intensity
- Weekly or biweekly, same time, never cancel
- 30 minutes minimum, 45-60 ideal
- Rescheduling is okay; canceling erodes trust

### 2. They Own the Agenda
- Ask them to bring topics
- Your items come second
- If they have nothing, dig deeper (that's a signal)

### 3. Listen More Than Talk
- Aim for 70/30 ratio (them/you)
- Ask follow-up questions
- Silence is okay—let them think

### 4. Document and Follow Through
- Take notes (or have them take notes)
- Track action items
- Start next 1:1 with previous action items

---

## 1:1 Types & Templates

### Type 1: Regular Check-in (Weekly/Biweekly)

**Purpose:** Maintain connection, surface small issues before they grow

**Template:**
```
## 1:1 with [Name] — [Date]

### Their Topics (5-15 min)
- [Let them lead]

### How are you doing? (5 min)
- Energy level / workload
- Blockers or frustrations
- Anything I should know?

### Work Check-in (5-10 min)
- What's going well?
- What's challenging?
- Do you have what you need?

### Growth/Development (5 min)
- Any learning opportunities this week?
- Skills you want to develop?

### My Topics (5 min)
- [Your items — keep brief]

### Action Items
- [ ] ...
```

---

### Type 2: Career Conversation (Monthly/Quarterly)

**Purpose:** Discuss long-term growth, aspirations, development

**Template:**
```
## Career Conversation with [Name] — [Date]

### Reflection
- What's energized you most in the last quarter?
- What's drained you?
- What accomplishment are you most proud of?

### Current Role
- What parts of your job do you love?
- What would you change if you could?
- Are you learning and growing?

### Future Direction
- Where do you see yourself in 1-2 years?
- What skills do you want to develop?
- What experiences do you want to have?

### Support Needed
- How can I help you get there?
- What opportunities should I look for?
- What's in your way?

### Action Items
- [ ] ...
```

---

### Type 3: Performance Concern

**Purpose:** Address issues early, create clarity on expectations

**Template:**
```
## 1:1 with [Name] — [Date] — Performance Discussion

### Opening (be direct)
"I want to talk about something important. I care about your 
success here, which is why I'm raising this directly."

### The Issue (SBI format)
- Situation: [When/where]
- Behavior: [What specifically happened]
- Impact: [The effect on team/work/customers]

### Their Perspective
- "What's your view on this?"
- "What's getting in the way?"
- "Is there context I'm missing?"

### Expectations Going Forward
- [Specific, measurable changes needed]
- [Timeline for improvement]
- [Support you'll provide]

### Check Understanding
- "Can you summarize what we agreed?"
- "What questions do you have?"

### Action Items
- [ ] [Specific behavior change]
- [ ] [Follow-up date]
- [ ] [Support/resources to provide]
```

---

### Type 4: New Team Member (First 90 Days)

**Purpose:** Accelerate onboarding, build relationship, identify gaps

**Week 1-2 Focus:**
```
- How are you settling in?
- What's confusing or unclear?
- Do you have everything you need (access, equipment, etc.)?
- Who have you met? Who should you meet?
- What questions do you have about the team/company?
```

**Week 3-4 Focus:**
```
- What's surprised you (good or bad)?
- What's different from your previous role?
- Where do you see quick wins?
- What processes seem inefficient?
- How's the pace—too fast, too slow?
```

**Month 2-3 Focus:**
```
- Where do you feel confident?
- Where do you still feel uncertain?
- What training or support do you need?
- How's your relationship with the team?
- What would make you more effective?
```

---

### Type 5: Returning from Leave / Difficult Period

**Purpose:** Reintegrate thoughtfully, show care

**Template:**
```
- Welcome back. How are you really doing?
- What do you need from me right now?
- What pace feels right for ramping back up?
- What should I know but not share with others?
- How can I protect your time/energy?
- What's the best way to check in on how you're doing?
```

---

## Question Bank by Situation

### When They Seem Disengaged
- "You've seemed quieter lately. What's on your mind?"
- "On a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about your work right now?"
- "What would need to change for this to be a 10?"
- "Are you getting to do what you do best every day?"
- "Is there something outside of work affecting you?"

### When They're Frustrated
- "Tell me more about that frustration."
- "What's the root cause?"
- "What have you tried so far?"
- "What would need to change?"
- "How can I help—do you want me to fix it, or just listen?"

### When They Want Promotion
- "What does that next level look like to you?"
- "What gaps do you see between where you are and where you want to be?"
- "What evidence would show you're ready?"
- "What can you start doing now at that level?"
- "How can I help you get there?"

### When They're Overloaded
- "Walk me through everything on your plate right now."
- "What would you take off if you could?"
- "What's urgent vs. important?"
- "What can I take off your plate or delegate elsewhere?"
- "Are you comfortable pushing back when asked to do more?"

### When There's Team Conflict
- "Help me understand what's happening with [person]."
- "What's your role in this dynamic?"
- "What have you tried to resolve it?"
- "What outcome would you like to see?"
- "Would it help if I facilitated a conversation?"

### When They're a Top Performer
- "What's keeping you here?"
- "What might make you leave?"
- "Are you being challenged enough?"
- "What's the most interesting problem you'd want to work on?"
- "How can I help you have more impact?"

### When They're Quiet / Give One-Word Answers
- "If you had a magic wand, what would you change?"
- "What's the one thing you wish I understood better?"
- "What feedback do you have for me?"
- "What's something you've wanted to say but haven't?"
- [Try walking 1:1s or informal coffee chats]

---

## Questions to Ask Every 1:1

Pick 1-2 from this list to keep conversation flowing:

### Opening
- "What's top of mind for you?"
- "What would make this a great week?"
- "What's one thing you're excited about?"

### Middle
- "What's your biggest challenge right now?"
- "What do you need from me?"
- "Is there anything blocking you?"

### Closing
- "Is there anything we didn't cover?"
- "What's one thing I can do to support you this week?"
- "Anything else on your mind?"

---

## Manager Self-Check

Before each 1:1, ask yourself:

| ✓ | Question |
|---|----------|
| ☐ | Did I review notes from last 1:1? |
| ☐ | Did I follow through on my action items? |
| ☐ | Do I know what they're working on? |
| ☐ | Is there feedback I've been avoiding? |
| ☐ | Have I thought about their career lately? |
| ☐ | Am I in the right headspace to listen? |

---

## Getting Feedback on Yourself

Ask regularly (not every 1:1, but quarterly):

- "What's one thing I could do differently to support you better?"
- "What am I not seeing that I should be aware of?"
- "If you were in my shoes, what would you do differently?"
- "What should I start doing, stop doing, or keep doing?"
- "On a scale of 1-10, how well am I supporting you? What would make it higher?"

---

## Red Flags to Watch For

| Signal | What It Might Mean |
|--------|-------------------|
| Always says "everything's fine" | Doesn't feel safe being honest |
| Never brings topics | Disengaged or doesn't see value |
| Frequently reschedules | Avoiding something |
| Only talks about task