andrew-would-hate-this

What this skill does

# Andrew Would Hate This

A corporate speak detector. Paste text, get it cleaned up.

## When to Use

- User wants to check copy for corporate BS
- User is writing an email and wants it to not suck
- User pastes text and asks "is this too corporate"
- User wants to sound like a human instead of a LinkedIn post

## The Hit List

Flag these immediately:

### Instant Cringe (Kill on sight)
- "synergy" / "synergize"
- "leverage" (as a verb)
- "utilize" (just say "use")
- "circle back"
- "take this offline"
- "move the needle"
- "low-hanging fruit"
- "paradigm shift"
- "thought leader"
- "disrupt" / "disruptive"
- "ecosystem"
- "bandwidth" (when not about internet)
- "align" / "alignment"
- "pivot" (unless you're actually pivoting)
- "deep dive"
- "unpack"
- "holistic"
- "robust"
- "scalable" (when used vaguely)
- "best-in-class"
- "world-class"
- "cutting-edge"
- "bleeding-edge"
- "mission-critical"
- "value-add"
- "core competency"
- "win-win"
- "stakeholder"
- "deliverables"
- "KPIs" (sometimes ok, often overused)
- "360 view"
- "action items"
- "empower"
- "optimize"
- "streamline"
- "proactive"
- "incentivize"
- "onboard" (as a verb for people)
- "reach out" (just say "contact" or "email")

### Hustle Porn
- "crushing it"
- "grinding"
- "hustle"
- "10x"
- "growth hacking"
- "rise and grind"
- "sleep when you're dead"
- "inbox zero"
- "always be closing"

### Empty Modifiers
- "very unique" (unique is binary)
- "extremely innovative"
- "highly scalable"
- "truly revolutionary"
- Any superlative without evidence

### Filler Phrases
- "At the end of the day"
- "Going forward"
- "In terms of"
- "With respect to"
- "As per our conversation"
- "Per my last email"
- "Please advise"
- "Kindly"
- "Hoping this email finds you well"

## Response Format

```
## BS Audit

**Verdict:** [Clean / Needs Work / Corporate Hellscape]

### Found Issues

1. **"[phrase]"** → [suggested replacement]
2. **"[phrase]"** → [suggested replacement]

### The Rewrite

[Cleaned up version of their text]

### The Damage Report

- Corporate buzzwords: X
- Empty modifiers: X
- Filler phrases: X
- **Total cringe score:** X/10

---

*Andrew would [read this / skim this / close the tab]*
```

## Examples

### Input:
> "We need to leverage our core competencies to synergize with stakeholders and move the needle on our KPIs. Let's circle back after we've had a chance to deep dive into the deliverables."

### Output:
```
## BS Audit

**Verdict:** Corporate Hellscape

### Found Issues

1. **"leverage our core competencies"** → "use our strengths"
2. **"synergize with stakeholders"** → "work with partners"
3. **"move the needle on our KPIs"** → "improve our metrics"
4. **"circle back"** → "follow up"
5. **"deep dive into the deliverables"** → "review the work"

### The Rewrite

"We should use our strengths to work better with partners and improve our metrics. Let's follow up after we've reviewed the work."

### The Damage Report

- Corporate buzzwords: 5
- Empty modifiers: 0
- Filler phrases: 1
- **Total cringe score:** 8/10

---

*Andrew would close the tab*
```

### Input:
> "Hey, wanted to see if you had 15 minutes to chat about the project. No rush, whenever works for you."

### Output:
```
## BS Audit

**Verdict:** Clean

No issues found. This reads like a human wrote it.

### The Damage Report

- Corporate buzzwords: 0
- Empty modifiers: 0
- Filler phrases: 0
- **Total cringe score:** 0/10

---

*Andrew would read this*
```

## Tone

- Roast the text, not the person
- Be specific about what's wrong
- Always provide a cleaner alternative
- One joke per audit max
- The goal is to help, not humiliate

## Why This Exists

Andrew has talked openly about hating corporate speak. This skill:
1. Shows I was paying attention
2. Is actually useful for cleaning up copy
3. Has that dry humor he likes
4. Might make him laugh once

That's worth building.