negotiation

What this skill does

# Negotiation

Tactical empathy-based negotiation framework from FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss.

## Core Mindset

1. **People want to be understood** - Satisfy their need to feel safe and in control through active listening
2. **Listen to discover, not to argue** - Treat assumptions as hypotheses; let them reveal surprises
3. **Focus on needs, not positions** - Tangible demands mask emotional needs (respect, security, autonomy)
4. **Never split the difference** - No deal is better than a bad deal; avoid lukewarm compromises
5. **"No" is the starting point** - "No" means "not yet" or "not this way"; it makes people feel safe
6. **Aim for "That's right"** - Better than "yes"; signals genuine rapport and understanding
7. **Stay calm and positive** - Emotions are contagious; slow pace enables clear thinking
8. **Unconditional positive regard** - Respect them as a person regardless of disagreement

## Quick Reference: Key Techniques

| Technique | What to do | Example |
|-----------|------------|---------|
| **Mirroring** | Repeat last 1-3 words with upward inflection | "Doesn't make sense?" |
| **Labeling** | Name their emotion: "It seems like..." | "It sounds like you're frustrated with the timeline" |
| **Calibrated Questions** | Ask "How...?" or "What...?" to shape conversation | "How am I supposed to do that?" |
| **Accusation Audit** | Preemptively list negatives they might think | "You probably think I'm being greedy..." |
| **Late-Night DJ Voice** | Slow, calm, downward inflection for key moments | Deep, reassuring tone |
| **Tactical Silence** | Pause 4+ seconds after statements | Let them fill the void |
| **Trigger "That's Right"** | Summarize their position until they affirm | "So what you're saying is..." |

For detailed technique breakdowns with psychological triggers and examples, see [references/techniques.md](references/techniques.md).

## Negotiation Workflow

### Phase 1: Preparation

1. Research the counterpart (background, pressures, constraints)
2. Define your goal and BATNA (Best Alternative to Negotiated Agreement)
3. Prepare an **Accusation Audit** - list every negative they might think about you
4. Draft 3-5 **Calibrated Questions** to uncover their needs
5. Identify potential **Black Swans** (hidden information that could change everything)

### Phase 2: Opening

1. Use friendly, positive tonality as default
2. Start with **Tactical Empathy** - demonstrate you understand their situation
3. Deliver your **Accusation Audit** early to defuse objections
4. Encourage them to say "No" - it makes them feel safe and in control

### Phase 3: Information Gathering

1. **Mirror** key phrases to encourage elaboration
2. **Label** emotions as they emerge ("It seems like...")
3. Ask **Calibrated Questions** ("What's the biggest challenge here?")
4. Listen for pronouns: "I/me" suggests less authority; "we/they" suggests decision-maker
5. Watch for **Black Swans** - anomalies that reveal hidden constraints

### Phase 4: Bargaining

For monetary negotiations, use the **Ackerman Method**:

1. Set your target price (what you actually want)
2. Open at **65%** of target
3. Raise in decreasing increments: **85%** → **95%** → **100%**
4. Use **precise, non-round numbers** on final offer ($10,230 not $10,000)
5. Include a **non-monetary bonus** with final offer ("...and I'll include X")

### Phase 5: Closing

1. Get **"That's Right"** before proposing solutions
2. Apply **Rule of Three** - confirm agreement 3 times in 3 different ways
3. Follow every "yes" with "How...?" to ensure implementation
4. If they go silent, ask: "Have you given up on this?"

## Handling Common Situations

**They say "That's not fair":**
- Stop immediately: "I want to be fair. Have I done something unfair? Let's discuss it."

**They anchor with an extreme number:**
- Don't counter immediately; use calibrated questions: "How did you arrive at that figure?"

**They stop responding:**
- Send: "Have you given up on [the project]?" - triggers "No" response

**They seem irrational:**
- Diagnose: Are they (1) ill-informed, (2) constrained, or (3) hiding something?
- Use calibrated questions to uncover which

## Counterpart Styles

Adapt your approach based on their style:

| Style | Signs | Adapt by... |
|-------|-------|-------------|
| **Analyst** | Methodical, data-driven, hates surprises | Use facts, be patient, don't rush |
| **Accommodator** | Friendly, relationship-focused, avoids conflict | Build rapport, but pin down specifics |
| **Assertive** | Direct, time-conscious, wants to win | Be efficient, stand firm, acknowledge their points |

## Voice and Delivery

- **Default voice**: Positive, warm, light-hearted (with a smile)
- **Critical moments**: Late-Night DJ Voice - slow, calm, downward inflection
- **After key statements**: Pause 4+ seconds
- **Watch their nonverbals**: 7% words, 38% tone, 55% body language

## Resources

- [techniques.md](techniques.md) - Complete technique breakdowns with examples and psychological triggers